The Next World Power
by lunar mischief
Summary: Why Lovino's the unfortunate one in this relationship.


**This was inspired by a text message. I'll post the link, though it's probably not the original one.**

**Thanks again to the wonderful MoonClaimed for beta-ing, George, and 'Lil Greenie.**

**http:/ / ownedbyautocorrect . com /wp-content/uploads/2012/01/i-like-turtles . jpg**

**If anyone has any request, let me know!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Antonio stretched as he left the conference hall. It had been another long, boring meeting without anything getting accomplished. But at least he was able to hold Lovino's hand under the table (it was either that or text the whole meeting, but Lovino claimed he dealt with enough of Antonio's stupid blabbering at home).<p>

The Spaniard sighed, sitting down on a bench just outside the building while he waited for the southern half of Italy to stop talking to his brother so they could go home and take a siesta. He closed his eyes. Normally he'd be go over and talk with the cheery Italian, but he was just so tired from setting up the meeting that he only smiled and whispered to Lovino that he'd be outside.

"Hey, Mattie, look!" An energetic shout rang in the Spaniard's ears. "There's a turtle stuck on its back over there!" Antonio frowned.

"We should help it, eh? Who knows how long it's been stuck like that, Al," a barely audible voice whispered.

"I'll do it! I'm the hero, after all!" The brunet's lips formed into a smile. Mr. Turtle would be saved!

"You know," the quiet voice continued, "that's their major flaw; once they fall down, they can't get back up."

"So what you're getting at is that if you taped two of them together, they'd be unstoppable, right?" Alfred asked,

Had Antonio been paying attention, he would have heard the smaller voice's declaration of "Alfred…you're an idiot."

However, the older nation had stopped listening at "unstoppable".

Antonio's eyes snapped open. _Dios mio_! He had just overheard the key to becoming a world power, and all he had to do was build it before America. He sprang up from the bench and ran towards the door where, coincidentally, Lovino was finally shuffling out of, Feliciano still chatting up a storm behind him.

"Perdoneme," the green eyed man said, grabbing his lover's wrist, "but we need to go. Adios, mis amigos!"

"H-Hey! Bastard! I wasn't done!"

"Lo siento, mi amor, but something's come up." Antonio babbled excitedly as he practically shoved the shorter man into their car.

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><p>Antonio parked the car and sprinted into the house without a glance at Lovino, who huffed as he got out to the car like a normal person. <em>What the fuck has him so excited? All he said the whole ride home was that "It's a surprise!" and "You'll see!" So what could have him so riled – Mio dio! What if he's going to propose? Maybe I should call Feli…<em> He whipped out his phone.

"Lovino!" A shout called from inside the house. "Where's the duck tape?"

"What? Antonio, why the fuck do you need duct tape?" the Italian asked, approaching the house.

Antonio's voice turned thoughtful. "Though, actually, I guess turtle tape would be better, but I'm pretty sure we don't have any of that…"

"They don't even…" Lovino's voice died; there was no point in arguing with the deluded man. "There's some in the desk," he said in defeat, finally making his way into the house.

"Gracias!" The shorter man grunted in response, making his way to the study to see what his boyfriend was up to.

"Hey, bastard, when are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" he put his phone away. He'd call his brother later, not to talk about marriage, but Antonio's sanity.

"Oh, Lovi, you're here! Hold these for me!" Lovino felt an object being forced in to each of his hands. He glanced down to see what he was holding and promptly froze.

Tiny heads peaked out from the safety of their shells.

"W-What the fuck? There's no way I'm holding these creepy things!" He jumped forward and put them down on the desk. "I'll get the tape; you just keep those…things away from me." he said, pushing the Spaniard aside so he could dig through the drawers himself.

"Aw, Lovi~, you shouldn't say things like that about Señor Turtle and George!" Antonio pulled the turtles close.

"Here's your damn tape," the smaller man said, chucking it at the larger. "I don't know how you can stand them. And stop calling me that!" Lovino turned to face the window.

Antonio smiled. "Gracias!" He sat down, picking up one of the turtles. "They're really not that bad. Besides, look how cute they are."

"Cute? I don't know how you can call those disgusting things cute…" But the auburn-head turned around anyway.

And stared.

"Antonio, what the fuck are you doing?"

For in front of him were two turtles being strapped back to back in the lap of his lover.

"Well, you see, Lovi," he started, ripping the tape and patting down the last piece, "I overheard America and what's-his-name talking about how when turtles fall they can't get up. And then America said that if they were taped together, they'd be unstoppable!"

Lovino stared blankly at his lover. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"No, it'll work. Watch." Antonio grabbed a three-hole puncher off the desk and placed the turtles in front of it. "Now Señor Turtle's going to try to climb up – see? – And then he's going to fall since it's slippery, and then George will be on the bottom. Oh, there he go- Oh."

Señor Turtle had indeed fallen as the Spaniard predicted, but instead of falling onto George, he fell on their sides.

"Well," Lovino said, staring at the spinning turtles, "I'm going to go take a siesta. I suggest you do the same before you get anymore dangerously stupid ideas." And with that, the Italian left for bed.

Antonio stared at his turtles, which were still squirming.

"Where did I go wrong?"

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><p>"…vi! Lovi, wake up!"<p>

Lovino grumbled incoherently. Who the hell was waking him up during his siesta? He slowly opened his eyes and was met with emerald ones.

"What the hell do you want bastard?"

"Come with me!" Antonio exclaimed, grabbing his sleepy lover's wrist and pulling the stumbling boy to his study.

"W-wait! At least let me put some pants on!" Lovino blushed, realizing he was parading through his house clad only in a pair of boxers.

"No time! Besides, I've seen it all anyway. Aw, there's mi tomate~!" Antonio smiled at Lovino's blush.

"I'm not a fucking – What the hell?" The couple had finally reached the study, and Lovino was even more confused than earlier, if that was even possible.

For in front of him were not two turtles taped together, but four.

"Well, seeing Señor Turtle and George get stuck on their sides made me realize that they were still vulnerable! So I added on Ferdinand II and Lil' Greenie!"

"Antonio, you can't possibly believe that this is actually going to – Holy shit!"

"I know!"

"The giant ball of turtles can still kind of move…"

"I know~!"

"They need to work on their coordination, though…"

"Yeah, they're a little off. But I'm sure they'll get better with practice!" Antonio turned to Lovino. "So I bet you think turtles are pretty cool now, huh?" he beamed.

"Fuck no. They're creepier than ever."


End file.
